My husband said to me a week or so ago that I was too busy. I had too much on my plate and that I realised most of it was put there by me. At first I was hurt and then maybe a little bit ashamed for making him feel this way and within a few seconds I told him he was right and that I was sorry. I had been feeling extremely stressed out and making things a bigger deal then they were. I then apologised and set my mind at work. I knew I needed to de-clutter my life. I was getting caught up in all of the projects around my house and the selfish desire to always be doing what I wanted instead of what my family needed me to be doing. I should have been loving them and serving them. Even when I was being a descent mom I was forgetting to be a good wife. I was caught in my own messy web of selfishness and was getting more and more tangled. I had lost my balance and I desperately needed a fresh new beginning. I'm grateful for my husband and his sweet way of pointing this out.
I have always loved the feelings that come with a new school year. There is this chance to begin fresh, get new school clothes, have perfectly sharpened pencils in a new clean backpack and a hope to get all As for once. It always seems like when fall comes around I get to start over. Do better. Try harder. Make better choices then I had the year before. With school starting for my little Payton just last week I knew that this would be the perfect time to clean out, simplify and prioritize my life and my time as a mother and a wife. He deserves a happy mom, Sadie deserves a mom who can take the place of her playmate brother while he 's away at school and Mark, my cute man, deserves a wife who thinks more about him then herself.
So... here is what I have come up with so far as I am physically continuing to remove all of the extra stuff from my home, as I am putting everything in it's own place and as I get rid of the cobwebs from the previous school year.
(Which I realise will never be completely finished. That is why I love this magnet given to me by Cortney and why I keep it on my fridge to remind me that even women who have enough time to put on lipstick before bed dream about having a clean home).
- I will continue to get up reasonably early each morning and ignore my computer until after I have fed myself spiritually and physically. Only then will I take a peek at emails or whatever if I am dressed and ready for the day.
- When my kids wake up I'm going to cuddle them first and then get them fed and ready for their day. For Payton this means having everything he needs for school and then maybe we can watch a cartoon together or do some unloading of the dishwasher.
- Then we get to walk to school, which gives us time to talk, sing and get our exercise in. Oh and right now the blackberry bushes are full so we give ourselves some extra time to make it there and back.
- After that I get time with my Sadie until lunch; mandatory play time with some time to work together. This is becoming one of my favorite parts of our day.
- Lunch happens after we pick Payton up from school only this time we'll take our time; chatting about our adventures and making fun plans for our afternoon. Usually it's a rush to get them down for naps.
- Nap time. This is my "me time." I can keep up on my almost newly organized home, or teach some violin lessons or I can do some sort of project. This is my time to enjoy my ability to balance.
- Dinners are making their way to our table homemade and healthy. Again another time to be together and tell daddy about our adventures, and then listen to his.
- Clean up, maybe a walk or trip to the gym as a family and then my favorite part of all...
- Kidlets get a Snack, Jammies, Teeth Brushed, Stories, Prayers Cuddles, Loves and Bed.
- Now I get to recharge and be with my sweet husband who at the end of the day can stand me because I am happier living my simplified life.
I know there will be days when this doesn't go as planned but so far (and there must be a beginning to everything) I am way less stressed, I feel happier in a clean home, I get time for myself without taking it from my family and I am enjoying my role as a mother and wife. I feel like I am making progress and each day I am hoping to feel fulfilled and see the blessings from trying to live a balanced life. Hey! I even enjoyed doing laundry this week. Everything seems more enjoyable if it has it's own place and when everything has it's own time. This is my goal.
So check up on me, join me and give it a thought. What's keeping you from being completely happy?
Here's to a new beginning!