Friday, March 19, 2010

You Are Everything...

"You are everything I never knew I always wanted."

Do you know that line? It's from the movie Fools Rush In. I wish you could hear it in your head the same way Matthew Perry delivers it in the movie, the impact would be so much greater!

But his simple confession is the same way I feel about my husband. I have found that the qualities I cherish the most in him are things that I never knew I needed and wanted in an eternal companion.

I knew I wanted someone who was "good with kids," but I didn't imagine the long nights he would sit with our kids when they're sick and the jokes we would share about their poop.
I knew I wanted someone who was patient, but I didn't realize how often he would need that patience just to put up with me.
I knew I wanted someone who was kind to others, but I didn't know that his kindness toward me would be the most important of my life.
I knew I wanted someone who was fun and spontaneous, but I had no idea how much that would impact our relationship and the joy we share with our children.
I knew I wanted someone who was understanding, but I never dreamed about the kind of circumstances we would encounter that he would have to understand in order to make a life together.
I knew I wanted someone who was (ahem...) attractive, but I really didn't recognize how much more attractive he would become through the years as all of these other qualities would actually change his appearance in my eyes.
I knew I wanted someone who was going to take me to the temple and live a gospel-centered life, but I didn't know how much I would need to lean on his quiet, steady and unshaken faith when mine was weak.

The list of things I wanted in a spouse was long, but my list of things I am grateful for in my spouse now is even longer. I remember my dad teaching me that if I wanted to marry prince charming, then I had to become the fairest princess in the land. I think I somehow tricked my prince into marrying me because I am so far from deserving of him. But I am learning--I am learning from him how to be the kind of person he always wanted.

I think the most important want in a marriage is the desire to be, and to become, your best self for your spouse. Sharing the best parts of yourself means growing together, learning from each other, and encouraging each other. I have found happiness in my times of sorrow because I could be honest about who I am with Jason. His acceptance of who I am now enables and encourages me to become who I want to be.

This post was supposed to be about ways I have found to serve my husband, but all I could think about is how he has served me. His example has taught me how to serve more willingly and lovingly. I want to be like him.

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