Friday, December 11, 2009

Feels Like Today


I have a confession to make. I've had a secret love affair over the last 10 or so years with...country music. There. I said it. Blame it on my upbringing in "Small Town", Wyoming. But this little rendezvous only lasts through the summer. Then it is put away until the calendar and weather say it's time to play America's music while barbecuing, while driving with the window down on the way to a baseball game, or while going for an early morning walk when the sun comes up by 6:00 am. I feel more patriotic when I listen.

So, this year, just as I was preparing to put to rest my country-singing friends for the season, I happened to learn something more than that familiar twang from a particular song. After a 7-year-long career in the same occupation, I was notified I would be getting laid off in October. I had mixed feelings...sadness of leaving friends, relief from the sometimes-stress-sometimes-boredom day-to-day work duties, worry about what would come next, happiness that I could be at home with my children, betrayal that my longevity with the company didn't provide more security.

Then, on the way home on my last day, I glanced over at my box of personal desk items in the passenger seat of the car and pushed PLAY on the CD console, not remembering what the album of choice had been when I put it in. A song I had always liked because of the upbeat rhythm but had never really listened to the words began to plan, and this time...I listened.

I woke up this mornin'
With this feeling inside me
that I can't explain
Like a weight that I've carried,
been carried away, away
But I know something is comin'
I don't know what it is
But I know it's amazing, can save me,
my time is comin'
I'll find my way out
Of this longest drought

And it feels like today, I know
It feels like today, I'm sure
It's the one thing that's missin'
The one thing you're wishin'
The last sacred blessing
And hey, feels like today
Feels like today.

Without knowing it, I suppose I've been in a drought of sorts, and maybe...no, I have faith it WILL, turn out much better in the long run. It's as if this song helped me close that chapter and give me a friendly nudge into the next one. Thoughts of "what next?" aside, I felt good, really good. The next verse of the song talks about there's a storm breaking and I'm running towards the light at the end of the tunnel. I'm not sure what awaits me at the end of said tunnel, but instead of fearing it, I find myself running toward it too.

Thanks for listening to my confession. Until next summer, Nashville.

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