His Hands

image by Cortney

There are times in our lives when bad things happen to people we care deeply about and most of those times we feel helplessly pinned against a wall trying desperately to think of something to say or do to make it seem all better. There are specific situations we encounter when that is just simply impossible.  However, I do believe that each of these moments have a lesson to be learned and a strength to be achieved by both the hurt and the ones who feel compassion towards those that hurt. 

Over the past few days I have witnessed that these experiences teach us how to love more deeply and to see those who are most effected through the eyes of a divine being, even if only for a brief moment.  Because of this gift to feel and to love, we are sometimes given the privilege to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.  So it has been and so it will continue to be for many of those who care about a very special family.

Cortney mentioned in a previous post just last week that our sweet friend had suffered a loss of an unborn child.  This was one of those moments when we all felt like we needed to do something but had no idea how to proceed...at first. 

The night it happened many showed up at their door, while they were heading to the hospital, to clean her home top to bottom.  Her freezer was then stocked with meals the next day and flowers began to load her counter top.  I, along with everyone I had spoken to, kept having that feeling of wishing we could do more...that we could somehow collectively show our love for this family in a way that was more then food and house cleaning.  Something that would last longer than just a few short weeks.  A plan began to form and with many many other women we began to do what we could to pull together a handmade quilt for them with the hopes of having it act as a cozy comforting reminder of this little baby and his place in their cute family.

It only took one email to gather a very large group of her friends together to begin our little project.  Sunday evening came and we all got to work. 

Only four hours later we had formed the top of the quilt.  I only wish that I had taken more pictures.  There were so many more there who had helped cut, sew and iron.  It really was a neat experience to have my home bursting at the seams with women filled with charity and a desire to serve those who really needed it. 

The next morning I took each piece to our cute Jen, who also writes for this blog, and I got to watch her create magic as she turned our previous night's work into a more beautifully quilted gift. 

The only things left to do where the binding and a tag. One more email went out...

On Tuesday morning, after many phone calls of people wanting to help, we sat around my dining room table sewing on the binding just like many other women had done in the past with other quilts that had been given as a gift to those who needed some extra warmth or strength.  I began to think about the significance of a quilt and it's meaningful symbolism of love and service.  It's neat to think about each hand that had touched it's fabrics and worked on it's beauty.  These are the women I get to associate with on a daily basis.  They were all there because they loved somebody very much.  Every stitch and each pressing was done to try and help lift a friend.  I'll never forget how I felt while working alongside some of my best friends united in one purpose.

Lastly, the tag was added with his name, the meaning of his name and a sweet reassuring scripture that reads:  

And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up. (D&C 84:88)

With this quilt we gave her a card that had been signed by everyone who helped and who wanted to show their love for them and Cortney, wrote a very tender insert that explained our reason for making them this gift. 

image by Cortney

Watching what goes on behind the scenes of a tragic event is humbling and amazing.  I saw only a little portion of what went into caring for this dear family and I could easily see our Heavenly Father's hand in all of it.  He loves us.  He knows us and He uses our hands as His when He wants to comfort those that stand in need of His comfort. I will always remember this experience and the heart felt lessons I learned along the way.  Today I stand stronger with many others who have learned a little bit better how to love more like He loves. 

 

Love has no limits

 image found here

Life has limits. We are limited to twenty four hours in each day. And, unfortunately there is a limit on how far you can stretch a dollar. My two daughters think there should be no limit to the volume of their favorite music when it's time to dance--thankfully for me, there is.

Sometimes limits can be stifling. Sometimes they are humbling. Sometimes limits can direct us to a new path. But sometimes lives are lost to limits and complexities that we may not understand.

image found here

Today, all of us here at Praiseworthy are thinking of our dear friend and her family who are faced with the loss of an unborn child. While that pure and sweet life has reached an untimely end, there is no limit to the love that is swelling in our hearts for him. There is no limit to the love that will blossom from the deep soil of mourning. There is no limit to the love that will forever find place in a quiet corner of our hearts for a sweet little boy who reminds us that life is precious.

Yes, life has limits. But love does not. And so, this little boy, though we will not meet him now, will forever be remembered with love.

image found here

The Superbowl

I have a love affair with the Superbowl. Okay, I know it sounds odd, but I do. There is one huge reason for it though. I met my husband at a Superbowl party. So thus, the Superbowl is celebrated in my home every year. It is usually just us, but some day it will be a huge party. Like when church is not at 1:00. Anyways do you want the story behind it? I am sure you do, so here it is.

Seven years ago due to the Super Bowl James and I met. Our friend Jeremy was throwing a Super Bowl party and we both ended up there. I was apprehensive about going due to the fact that it was a co-ed over nighter. But I was assured it would be chaperoned by his parents and the boys were sleeping upstairs while the girls were downstairs. I was still apprehensive, but my roommates were fighting again, (they always fought) and the spirit kept telling me to go. Well obviously James is the reason why I was supposed to go.

Jocelyn and I went up early Saturday with Jeremy and hung out and James got there later. I had my eye on him from the start, but nothing happened till Sunday.

It was Fast Sunday, and we all bore our testimonies that day in church. It was interesting, a bunch of kids from BYU-Idaho taking over his home wards testimony meeting, but they all really seemed to enjoy it, and that was one of the best experiences to be a part of. We then went back to Jeremy's house after church.

Matt had a flat tire, and I volunteered to help change it. All the guys were pretty impressed, and that then got all the girls annoyed with me and then Matt because all the other girls were out there too. I left. He could not get the lug nuts off and I was done with all the girls. So I went off to hang out with the animals. Jeremy's parents had some Donkeys or Mules. I can't remember which. So I hung out with them for a while while waiting for the game to start. That is when James made his move and came out to figure out who I was. We talked, hung out then went to watch the game.

To tell you the truth I do not remember who played or won. I know it was the Janet Jackson Super Bowl though. (I did not see the halftime show due to being on the phone with my parents, thank goodness!) I actually did not pay attention to much of the Super Bowl because James and I were flirting with each other the whole time, and from then on it is history.

(I am just glad we did not die on the way back to Rexburg that night thanks to Dan's crazy driving mixed with bald tires, mixed with ice! Then there would be no history!)

That semester then involved me chasing him, and winning his heart with goodies, and his roommates sure loved me too. There were cookies, (Jocelyn, I will always have fond memories of that night!) cheese cakes, regular cakes, more cookies, etc. I enjoyed myself, and I am sure James did too, although one plate of cookies was ate by his roommates before he could enjoy them.

Stewart, Dan, Chris, and Brady (Jame's Roommates) became great friends that semester. Due to my roommates not being able to get along with each other, I stayed far away. Whether it was at James or Jeremy's apartments. There were actually a lot of people involved. What a fun semester it was.

I loved dating James. We never did anything expensive. We were both pretty cheep and will still admit that we still are, but there is nothing wrong with that. We went to the the dollar theater on Tuesdays when it was cheaper, we would go to the grocery store together, go to James' dance labs, we went on a lot of walks, orchestra concerts, fine arts performances, plays, many Comic Frenzy performances, and just hung out. It was great. I am proud to say that I was James' first kiss. It took us both two months to work up the courage to do that. He was only my 2nd kiss. We were then engaged two months later at the end of May. We actually got engaged the night of Ben's (his younger brother) graduation from high school. Then 3 months later in August we were married. Yes, some people think that is fast, but when it is right, it is right. Why make such a good thing wait.

Oh how I love being married to the man of my dreams! And oh how I love the Superbowl because of it!

The hug that changed me

It was about 2 1/2 years ago that I answered a phone call from my dad. For those of you that don't know my dad, he's a man of very few words and usually listens in on the phone while I chat with my mom, and occasionally he'll chime in with a comment. So, to get a call specifically from him was at the least unusual. It turned out he had been diagnosed with chronic lymphocytic leukemia, and had been suffering the effects of a soccer-ball-sized tumor in his abdomen.

There was talk that he would have surgery to remove the tumor, but many of his lymph nodes had already started mutating into serious, untreatable ones. The doctor recommended immediate chemotherapy, rather than go through surgery and wait months afterward to start chemo. Every month, my parents made the hour-long trip to the clinic to receive an aggressive dose of chemotherapy. The days following treatment were miserable for my dad. He described it like having the flu...times 10.

Why share this with you when we're talking about love stories this week? I've always known my parents loved each other, although, like all of us, they experienced ups and downs of the daily stresses and celebrations in their marriage. I have noticed in my parents, since my dad's diagnosis and treatment, a much deeper love for one another than ever before.

(at our family reunion campout this past summer - aren't they cute??)

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At my mom's quilt retreat that same year, my sisters, aunt and parents were sitting around one night chatting and catching up. Dad's treatment had taken a toll on his energy, and he decided to turn in early. He stood up, said goodnight, and gave my mom a warm, lingering embrace that spoke volumes to me of their love. I've always known them to show affection toward each other, but this small moment seemed different somehow, more personal and meaningful, and I was thankful to have witnessed it.

.

I decided that day that, whenever I felt the prompting, I would take an extra moment to let the dearest and most important people in my life know that they are loved. Just today, my mom said, "When you're faced with challenges and the future seems a little shaky, it makes you appreciate just what you have." Thanks, Mom and Dad, for showing me what true love really is.

A Family Love Story

I have this picture sitting in a cute tiny silver frame on my desk.  It is one of my most favorite items in my whole house.  I love to look at it and see in their faces how they adored one another.  These two cute love birds are my grandparents, Linton and Dolly Collier.  Their story is simple but I find simple things to be the most sweet.  They loved one another and we all knew it.  They loved everyone of us too. That's what suppose to happen when somebody gets married and starts a family.  That feeling should go on for forever.  

My grandpa passed away just a month ago after having a heart attack and I miss him....we all do.  He would always want to wrestle with us and give us big kisses.  He also loved to talk about his wife and would  sneak cute glances her way when he did it.  He liked to hold her hand and thank her for everything.  He was good to her and she was really good to him.  I don't know all of the details but I do know enough to share their love story and the way it has affected me. 

Both grandma and grandpa were raised in sunny California. My grandma had lots of cute girlfriends (including shirley temple...if I remember right) while grandpa ran around with my grandma's brother.  She had grown up right in front of him.  

Grandpa joined the Navy during World War II while my Grandma was in High School.  When he returned from his service he saw her as more then just a friend's little sister and asked her to dance.  He said "when I got out of the navy she looked very good to me!"  They courted for a year before they were married (the day after Grandma's high school graduation).  

After our family visited with  Grandpa just a few days before he died he told me about how my Grandma's parents didn't like the idea of him marrying her but they went ahead with it anyway.  He was stubborn like that.  Good thing because look how cute they are and how happy they made everything!  Plus my dad came from them and I came from my dad.  When you love somebody you just have to have faith and go for it...no matter what!

She wanted more then anything else to be a wife and a mother.  She moved with her family 7 times and one of them to a farm in Idaho.  They didn't know much of anything about farming but it was my Grandpa's dream so they took a risk and made the most of it.  My dad says she was the best cook and always kept a tidy home.  Grandpa couldn't sit still I guess.  He loved starting knew things and risking it all to start new businesses.  Grandma stuck by his side and did it all with him. 

They had three boys before adopting a baby girl.  They loved them, encouraged them and taught them well.  They believed in family.  They worked hard together and they played hard together.  When grand kids came along they seemed to like us...to love us and to want to teach us everything they knew. Grandma loved to teach us girls how to cook and Grandpa would help us climb his trees in the yard.  They would give open hugs and kisses to everyone both when we arrived for a visit and when we left.  We knew we were loved.  They showed us, they told us often and they meant it.

Grandpa's favorite date was the day he asked my sweet Grandma to marry him.  Grandma was always his secret crush and would be for forever.  

They never considered themselves to be poor. He said, "With each other we were and still are exceptionally rich!!!

 When Grandpa was asked, "If you could use one word to describe your spouse what would it be" he said,

"Outstanding, loving, caring, nurturing- take your pick!"  I guess he knew she couldn't be pinned down to just one word.

Grandma said that the one word she would use to describe her husband would be "GREAT!"

Grandpa noted, "My favorite vacations are anywhere I can be with my wonderful wife, Dolly. I love that lady! I even enjoy sitting around home with her!! God has truly blessed us!

Their advice: "Always tell each other you love each other daily and hourly. Always do everything together and be patient!"

I love that no matter what they stuck together, loved each other openly and made each other feel special.  They put their spouse first and their family close behind.  Their legacy of love and their story will stick with me for forever.  I love you Grandma and Grandpa! I want to end up like you...happy and content.

 

 

* I need to thank my cute sister in law Katie for helping me with this post.  In the short time she knew my grandparents she put together a book of each of their lives.  I will always love having a copy of those books.  Thank you a million times!

Are you speakin' my language?

Ever hear of the Five Love Languages?



I read the book as part of an Institute class when I was a single girl, with all the optimism of a hopeful Cinderella waiting for her prince. Recently, I thought it was about time I read it again as a "seasoned" (ha ha) married girl, still optimistic about my future with my prince of a husband. It's been a good reminder of how we can work together to make our fairy tale head toward "happily ever after." Specifically, I gleaned some ideas of what I can do to keep my dear husband content, receptive and open . Although I can't control those three traits, I can nourish them.


Basically, the premise of the five love languages is that everyone gives and receives love in various languages, although most individuals' natural tendency is to give and receive love in the same language. The book encourages you to first, discover your own love language, and second (and just as important), find out what language your partner (spouse, parent, friend, sibling, etc.) responds to (take a quiz to guide you to your language). Usually we end up dating/marrying someone who speaks a different love language than ourselves. Here's a quick definition of each language:

1. Words of Affirmation: Lots of "I love yous" and reasons for that love.


2. Quality Time: Full attention, free from distractions, and really listening.


3. Receiving Gifts: If this is the way you receive love, it doesn't mean you're shallow and/or materialistic. The smallest gift or gesture holds great meaning because you know there was some effort behind it.


4. Acts of Service: Stepping in to help out, especially when it's something you don't normally do speaks volumes of your love and appreciation towards your mate.


5. Physical Touch: This doesn't necessarily mean hanky panky or excessive P.D.A. but can be as simple as a pat on the back or kiss on the cheek.

So, what language do you speak? Just as you can be fluent in many verbal languages, you can speak more than one love language, but you definitely have one "mother tongue." Personally, mine is Acts of Service. Coming in a close tie for second is Quality Time and Receving Gifts. It's important to me that I feel listened to, so consequently I make an effort to really pay attention to others and make them feel important and validated. I also love to give little meaningful gifts, like a note in an unexpected place or fix a special meal if I know hubby has had a long day.

It's quite obvious to me that Dear Husband speaks and hears in a different language than I do. His mother tongue is Words of Affirmation, followed by Physical Touch. We were talking after a particularly long and taxing day, and he simply said, "Sometimes I just need a little affection." Since he works from home, occasionally I'll pop into the office, not say a word but give him a peck on the cheek and sneak back out, and many times he'll say "I needed that." Now I'm speakin' his language and all is good.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? I have, and it's not easy. I tried to speak Spanish to the lovely Latino people at church, and to them I probably sounded like Tarzan, not knowing the proper pronoun to use or messing up the conjugation of a verb. But they knew I was making the effort, and as I put out 25% of the effort, they met me with open arms and the other 75% and then some. I think the same is true of love languages. It will be challenging at times, you may feel foolish or fear you'll "mess up" but as long as you're making the effort, that's all that matters, and from my own experience, it matters a lot!

So, what's your love language? And are you ready to learn another tongue? It's fun, I promise, so go for it!

Ciao, bella!

Easy Decorating

So I had no real intentions to post my easy, peasy idea when I did it, but it turned out cute and my family liked it. So I thought I am a mom with little time and wanted some decorations for valentines day with little effort, and hey, you all may want that too. So here is my idea. Don't laugh, it was fun and meaningful.


Step 1: Cut out hearts from a solid color of construction paper, cardstock, etc.


Step 2: Let your child draw pictures of things they love on those hearts.

Step 3: Dictate what is on the picture in case a stranger or your spouse might not know what it is.

Step 4: Hang with string where you want them.

It was fun, and we enjoyed it. They have been up for a week+ now and they are still fun to look at.

Pillow Talk

I love this movie. I love it so much that I own it, thanks to my best kindred spirit girlfriend, who years ago noticed that I was checking it out so often from the library that she wanted to save me the trip and gave it to me for my birthday.

And what's better than watching it myself is watching it with other people who've never seen it, which is what I did with some girlfriends a couple of weeks ago. It's my trusty go-to movie when I don't know what I'm in the mood to watch. Imagine your typical predictable, goofy, cheesy romantic comedy, circa 1959. What's your go-to flick?

On a similar topic but without the "cheese," I'm taking the 1 Million Pillowcase Challenge. Local participating quilt shops will take your donated handmade pillowcases to give to foster children, nursing home residents, battered women's shelters and cancer patients. The goal is 1 million pillowcases donated by the end of this year. There are free pillowcase patterns on the site to download, and here are the ones I put together: The ruffle ones are quicker to put together than the pieced ones, so I made three of those and one of each of the other two patterns. What a great way to use up my stash! I only had to purchase three pieces of fabric for three of the pillowcase bodies. It took me about an hour to do each one, including cutting, sewing and stopping to referee the kiddos.

So, why pillowcases? Imagine being away from home, losing your home, or not having a home. And imagine receiving a simple pillowcase that is unique and unlike any other, just like you. It's soft, comforting, beautiful, and it's YOURS. So consider sharing the love by participating.

Make a pillowcase, make a difference.

Baby, Break the Chains of Love

I love paper chains. Oh, how I love paper chains! So when I saw this tutorial on how to make them from fabric, of course I had to make some. And we've made this thankful jar/paper chain idea a holiday tradition.

Our Family Home Evening lesson tonight is based on a mashup of what my kids learned in their Primary and Nursery lessons yesterday: Because I Chose to Follow Jesus Christ, I Will Love Others. As I was putting it together, I came across this:

Image from lds.org

And I could feel little explosions going off in my brain and I thought: What a perfect excuse for a paper chain! So I cut out some strips of colored paper, and put them in a jar ...


and every night from now until Valentine's Day, we'll each take a strip of paper and write something we love about someone else in our family. We'll make the chain as we go, so we can see how much it grows every day!