You Are Everything...

"You are everything I never knew I always wanted."

Do you know that line? It's from the movie Fools Rush In. I wish you could hear it in your head the same way Matthew Perry delivers it in the movie, the impact would be so much greater!

But his simple confession is the same way I feel about my husband. I have found that the qualities I cherish the most in him are things that I never knew I needed and wanted in an eternal companion.

I knew I wanted someone who was "good with kids," but I didn't imagine the long nights he would sit with our kids when they're sick and the jokes we would share about their poop.
I knew I wanted someone who was patient, but I didn't realize how often he would need that patience just to put up with me.
I knew I wanted someone who was kind to others, but I didn't know that his kindness toward me would be the most important of my life.
I knew I wanted someone who was fun and spontaneous, but I had no idea how much that would impact our relationship and the joy we share with our children.
I knew I wanted someone who was understanding, but I never dreamed about the kind of circumstances we would encounter that he would have to understand in order to make a life together.
I knew I wanted someone who was (ahem...) attractive, but I really didn't recognize how much more attractive he would become through the years as all of these other qualities would actually change his appearance in my eyes.
I knew I wanted someone who was going to take me to the temple and live a gospel-centered life, but I didn't know how much I would need to lean on his quiet, steady and unshaken faith when mine was weak.

The list of things I wanted in a spouse was long, but my list of things I am grateful for in my spouse now is even longer. I remember my dad teaching me that if I wanted to marry prince charming, then I had to become the fairest princess in the land. I think I somehow tricked my prince into marrying me because I am so far from deserving of him. But I am learning--I am learning from him how to be the kind of person he always wanted.

I think the most important want in a marriage is the desire to be, and to become, your best self for your spouse. Sharing the best parts of yourself means growing together, learning from each other, and encouraging each other. I have found happiness in my times of sorrow because I could be honest about who I am with Jason. His acceptance of who I am now enables and encourages me to become who I want to be.

This post was supposed to be about ways I have found to serve my husband, but all I could think about is how he has served me. His example has taught me how to serve more willingly and lovingly. I want to be like him.

Serving by Saving

One way I serve my husband is by spending the money he earns wisely. I try to make every penny go twice as far. It can be tricky and time consuming, but if he can go to work 40 hours a week, then I can spend a few hours cutting coupons and planning my grocery trips. It is not an easy task to start, but I have a few sites that can help out. There are TONS of blogs out there to help, but I have found that finding 3 or so good blogs is plenty. Here are a few of my recent favorites.

Thrifty and Thriving
Thrifty NW Mom
Fabulously Frugal

They are not just about couponing either. Thrifty NW Mom often has lists of free events and activities going on on the weekends. I have found free Redbox codes as well. And if you are not into clipping coupons they will tell you where to print them off and link it all so it is right at your fingertips. They make saving money easy and I find it very fun. Your husband will be proud and happy that you are making the budget stretch farther.

Are you speakin' my language?

Ever hear of the Five Love Languages?



I read the book as part of an Institute class when I was a single girl, with all the optimism of a hopeful Cinderella waiting for her prince. Recently, I thought it was about time I read it again as a "seasoned" (ha ha) married girl, still optimistic about my future with my prince of a husband. It's been a good reminder of how we can work together to make our fairy tale head toward "happily ever after." Specifically, I gleaned some ideas of what I can do to keep my dear husband content, receptive and open . Although I can't control those three traits, I can nourish them.


Basically, the premise of the five love languages is that everyone gives and receives love in various languages, although most individuals' natural tendency is to give and receive love in the same language. The book encourages you to first, discover your own love language, and second (and just as important), find out what language your partner (spouse, parent, friend, sibling, etc.) responds to (take a quiz to guide you to your language). Usually we end up dating/marrying someone who speaks a different love language than ourselves. Here's a quick definition of each language:

1. Words of Affirmation: Lots of "I love yous" and reasons for that love.


2. Quality Time: Full attention, free from distractions, and really listening.


3. Receiving Gifts: If this is the way you receive love, it doesn't mean you're shallow and/or materialistic. The smallest gift or gesture holds great meaning because you know there was some effort behind it.


4. Acts of Service: Stepping in to help out, especially when it's something you don't normally do speaks volumes of your love and appreciation towards your mate.


5. Physical Touch: This doesn't necessarily mean hanky panky or excessive P.D.A. but can be as simple as a pat on the back or kiss on the cheek.

So, what language do you speak? Just as you can be fluent in many verbal languages, you can speak more than one love language, but you definitely have one "mother tongue." Personally, mine is Acts of Service. Coming in a close tie for second is Quality Time and Receving Gifts. It's important to me that I feel listened to, so consequently I make an effort to really pay attention to others and make them feel important and validated. I also love to give little meaningful gifts, like a note in an unexpected place or fix a special meal if I know hubby has had a long day.

It's quite obvious to me that Dear Husband speaks and hears in a different language than I do. His mother tongue is Words of Affirmation, followed by Physical Touch. We were talking after a particularly long and taxing day, and he simply said, "Sometimes I just need a little affection." Since he works from home, occasionally I'll pop into the office, not say a word but give him a peck on the cheek and sneak back out, and many times he'll say "I needed that." Now I'm speakin' his language and all is good.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? I have, and it's not easy. I tried to speak Spanish to the lovely Latino people at church, and to them I probably sounded like Tarzan, not knowing the proper pronoun to use or messing up the conjugation of a verb. But they knew I was making the effort, and as I put out 25% of the effort, they met me with open arms and the other 75% and then some. I think the same is true of love languages. It will be challenging at times, you may feel foolish or fear you'll "mess up" but as long as you're making the effort, that's all that matters, and from my own experience, it matters a lot!

So, what's your love language? And are you ready to learn another tongue? It's fun, I promise, so go for it!

Ciao, bella!

Personally, I'd Rather Have the Paint-Box

Looks like a birthday at our house!

Today is my husband's birthday. For me, it is one of the hardest days of the year. Not because I don't love him and want to celebrate every single day of his 30-something years. It's because I seem to fail every single year, to adequately express just exactly how happy I am that he was born.

It all started with the first of his birthdays that we were together, eight years ago. In short, it was a well-intentioned surprise party gone horribly wrong. It wasn't what he wanted at all, and although he forgave me within about an hour, it still makes me blush with shame. Never mind that we'd only known each other for 5 months and I couldn't really be expected to know just what he'd want, I still feel a little bad about the whole thing. And? It turns out, all he really wanted was to just spend a quiet evening with me.

It reminds me a little of one of my all-time favorite sayings ever, from an essay titled "Gifts" by Ralph Waldo Emerson: "... if the man at the door has no shoes you have not to consider whether you could procure him a paint-box." The point being that a gift (or an act of service) should be given with true thought for the receiver. My party-gone-bad? I thought it would be fun. But I didn't, in retrospect, really think about it from my cute-soon-to-be-husband's point of view.

These days, I try harder to think about this day and what it means to him. And, to be honest, it is harder. I want to do something over-the-top spectacular for him every single year. But even though I think he's over-the-top spectacular, he's not the sort of person who celebrates that way. He likes to sleep in. He likes cake. He likes new music, and time to think. He likes to cook. Sometimes it's hard to do those little things on such a special day, when I'd rather be doing something for him that's more, well, special.

I suppose that's part of what Emerson was saying, though, and it applies to every gift and every act of service: even though that paint-box is pretty, and even though it's what you really want to give, more often it's the simple pair of shoes (the small things that become big things when you see them through the receiver's eyes) that mean the most in the end.

Also? I let him make his own birthday dinner ... seriously, he wanted to!

For the LOVE of His Game

 

Some may say it's hard work being married to a cute-nerdy-game-loving-book-reading-works-like crazy-as-long-as-there-is-a-computer-screen-in-front-of-him-genius-know-it-all-did-I-mention-he's-smart-and-good-at-everything kind of guy.  For me I would say tricky but definitely not hard.  Yes... sometimes I feel like I need to put on a huge production with confetti and bubbles and a neon sign around my neck that says, "Please Look At Me" while wearing a clown outfit just to compete for the attention he sometimes gives his favorite screens but for the most part I am getting the best part of our deal. Luckily and very thoughtfully this said husband is extremly supportive of my likes and my sometimes expensive hobbies.  He doesn't ever complain when the sewing machine is buzzing loudly in the background while he watches his favorite show and he will even come in to see how things are going.  When I try to figure out a quilt or plan for a party I use him to talk it all out and he will at least pretend to be listening.  He is great and he knows and appreciates the things that make me happy. Plus he only does what he loves to do when I am out of the house or busy with a project upstairs.  He's a thoughtful gamer. So the above picture is luckily never me. I like that.

I on the other hand, the self-absorbed-needy-bubble-blowing-wife, had not given it much thought until Saturday night when I asked him if we could play video games. The look on his face was enough to make me excited to play his silly game plus that had gotten his attention way better then any sign or costume. So he jumped off the couch, hooked up the xbox, even let me have the prettiest controller, he explained what each button did and then we were off.  I did die a lot and he let me shoot him several times but for the most part we just laughed our guts out as my guy kept ramming his face into the wall and when I finally figured out how to not blow up my own foot with my own granade I had a special moment.  I was terrible but it was so fun.  I can't believe it took me 7 years to even ask to play and to realise how good he was at this specific game.   

Okay!  Here is my challenge! 

Do something he loves every day.  Try it for a week.  You don't have to like it (you might) but I guarantee he will love that you even asked.  You will probably never be more amazing to him as you are in that moment.  Pretty too!  I'm sure he'll love the way that controller looks in your little hands or how cute you look yelling at the TV during his favorite football game.  Plus it'll show him that you want to understand his likes and dislikes.  Girls and guys are totally different.  Understanding each other may never happen but at least we are giving it a better shot by trying. 

So, I guess it's time to buck up and be a man for a little while.  I think today I might try watching Star Wars with him and tomorrow maybe I'll learn how to install software.  This makes me laugh just thinking about it. 

I can't wait to hear about how your week turns out.  I bet it'll be awesome!

Skirt to Bag: Drumroll, please ...

Thanks to everyone who left a comment on the skirt-to-bag tutorial, I loved reading about where you'd shop and was pleased that you all liked my little bag so much! I wish I could make one for all of you.

The winner of the bag, selected at random ...

is...

Congratulations, Jessica!

That was really fun, everyone. Let's do it again soon, shall we?




P.S. We have an email address! It's new! It's lovelypraiseworthy@gmail.com (you can also find it on our sidebar over there ...) Use it to contact us when you win a giveaway, or have a comment or suggestion, or just want to say hello!

For the Love of Bags!

How does this happen? There are twelve bags on that couch--and that is not all of the bags I could have collected for this picture! I can think of several more that are missing, but of those included there are bags I received as gifts, bags I bought at garage sales and second-hand stores, bags I paid over $100 for (only one like that!), practical bags, grocery bags, library book bags, diaper bags, hand bags, leather, cloth, and plastic bags. I love bags! I am always searching for the perfect bag, and since there isn't one perfect bag, I have collected lots of nearly perfect ones.

You know how certain things just seem to draw you to them? It's like they are quietly calling your name and no one else can hear it. Well, for me that call comes from the silent allure of a new bag. Have you experienced this innate attraction that seems to be instilled at birth? It is often diagnosed with the fateful shoe fetish--which only agitates the bag obsession, causing both to flare up at rather inopportune times when low on the natural remedy of self restraint. Size and intended use do not matter. I can't even say there is a certain style, color or common trait among them (other than the simple fact that they hold stuff) which draws me to them. Really, I just love bags!

It's funny because some of my friends know me as the girl with the Mary Poppins bag. Not because I can pull a lamp and a mirror and a house plant out of my bag, but because I often try to pack an entire household into one bag when leaving the house. I have even at times, with polite honesty, accepted the comparison of my packing habits to that of a pack mule. Yes, I am the human pack mule. No, no, I was the human pack mule. I am starting to realize how being over-prepared, and thus over-packed, actually increases my stress and anxiety rather than decreases it. I used to think that I should pack everything I "might" need, just in case... But now I'm finding that when I only take the bare essentials, the lightness of my bag adds the the lightness of my mind and I am less stressed and less anxious and can focus on what I'm doing or who I'm with and enjoy my time so much more! It's amazing how physical things can contribute so much to our intangible state of well-being. That is why I would encourage you to find a bag you love. Carry something cute over your shoulder, fill it with a few things that will make your day run smoothly, and leave all the unnecessary junk at home.

And for those of you like me, who have a different bag for different things--the diaper bag, the swim lessons bag, the church bag, the lunch bag, the shopping bags, etc., etc.--if you seem to be asking, "Now which bag did I leave my phone in? And where are my keys?" as often as I do, here is a little trick I have found and am loving...use one small bag (Rachel made one for me!) to keep all your personal items (wallet, phone, keys, chapstick, gum, etc.) that can be transplanted from bag to bag as needed. I love doing this because I can throw my little purse in my diaper bag when I leave the house and then when we're running into a store where I won't be for long and I don't need the diapers and wipes I just grab my little purse and go. The less that is strapped onto my body, the less anxiety I feel. The right bag packed just the right way is such a beautiful thing.

What is your favorite bag and why? Do you have any tricks for keeping it clean?

Hot/Cold Bags

We have a wonderful thing here at our house. It was given to my daughter when she was super sick last year, and has been used a ton. My sister made her a corn bag. It is a bag filled with feed corn. (Not popcorn.) You put it in the microwave for 3 minutes or so and it gets wonderfully warm. We love it! Whenever anyone is sick, cold, sore, or anything that I we can use as an excuse, it heat it up and we warmed from the outside in. I love being warm and cosy. You may remember, I do have cold feet. Not only for warmth though, you can keep it in the freezer when not in use and you have a cold bag ready for unexpected bumps and bruises. There are a few different shapes you can make it in as well. I made a square, but you can also do a long rectangle, or anything that strikes you fancy. It is really just a large bean bag.

Supplies:

Cotton fabric, as much as you need.

Scissors, yarn, sewing machine. ( I am sure you can do it by hand if you want to)

Filler: I used pearl barley. That was on sale at the store. You can also use uncooked rice (not minute rice), wheat, feed corn, buckwheat hulls, beans, or flax seed.

Cut your fabric into the shape you want. I used a 9 inch quilting square as a guide.Sew the front/pattern sides together making sure to leave an opening so you can turn it right side out. I sewed twice around the edges just as a safety if a hole was ever torn. Fill 1/2 to 2/3 full with desired filler. ( I used a 16 oz bag of barley.)

Sew hole closed. Heat in the microwave for up to 3 minutes depending on the size. If you are worried about a fire, fill a mug with water and place in the microwave with the bag. Shake the bag well and check the heat before using it on a child.

While not in use keep it in the freezer as a cold bag.

If you are worried about germs, you can wrap it in a towel, or make a case for it. I am pretty practical so a towel works fine for me. Also, the microwave and freezer both disinfect the bag. The microwave will kill anything growing in/on it. So I think it is pretty sanitary.

PS In second grade I was given sew as a spelling bee word. I misspelled it. I am not sure which one was even given. Sew or so. "Sew" forgive me and my aweful spelling if there is ever any errors.

PSS Don't forget to enter Rachel's Giveaway!

Wake up call

I'm taking a bit of a different angle on this week's topic of BAGS. Let me start out by asking the question, "Who's tired?" It's OK if you raise your hand. No one will know what you're doing unless they're looking over your shoulder this moment. If you're like me, the BAGS under my eyes make my current state of mind quite obvious.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume I'm not alone. Who can blame us? Whether our exhaustion comes from working, mommy-ing, playing (the good kind of exhaustion), or simply the result of a foolish decision to stay up way past our bedtime, it can show on our faces, and in my case it does!

So what to do? All sorts of expensive serums, surgeries, acupuncture and gadgets claim to take away the evidence of our exhaustion. But I'm not exactly in the market for one of these:

(eye massager - what the ???)

Anyway, I decided to try a couple of home remedies and give you my review.

• Of course, you've seen the old cucumber-slices-on-the-eyes trick. Place a slice on each eye for 15 minutes. The coolness will help under-eye tissues contract. Pro: inexpensive, cooling sensation, effective. Con: must repeat several times a day to retain effectiveness.


• Tea bags. Ironic that you would use bags to get rid of bags, eh? This is my favorite remedy. After getting your daily antioxidants from your tea (this is one of my favorites), place two used tea bags in the fridge and apply one to each eye for 15 minutes. Pro: inexpensive, feels good, stays on eyes better than cucumbers because you can really fit it on your eyes, effective. Con: same as cucumbers. And you look sorta freaky, so make sure your little kids aren't around to see Mommy with black eyes.


• Diet. I'm not a big salt-craver, but I've been more aware of the sodium levels in my diet. Salt can make you retain water, and under your eyes is one place it likes to settle. Drink ample water to flush salts and toxins from your system. Pro: looking and feeling good. Con: none, other than the discipline to monitor what you're putting in your body, but we should be doing that anyway.


• Hemmorhoid cream. This is one I haven't tried, but I've heard it touted as a viable and effective treatment. It works to constrict the tissues just like it does for the *ahem* original intended use. Apply it under your eyes twice a day. Pros: less expensive than pricey eye creams, effective, less applications needed. Cons: getting it in your eye, and living with the knowledge of exactly what you're putting on your face!

What tried-and-true remedies do you use to keep yourself looking awake, refreshed and glowingly radiant? You know you have some secrets to your beauty regime, so spill it. And here's to looking and feeling gorgeous!

Skirt to Bag: A Tutorial and Giveaway

I just love making old things into new things, don't you? Before I ever throw anything out, I'm always asking myself how I could possibly re-vamp it to make it useful again. And I adore seeing re-made old things when I shop; there's just all sorts of cleverness out there when it comes to making something from another thing! Here's my take on it today, using an old skirt and some fabric scraps.

Please forgive the highly random image-quality here. The photos were taken over the course of the day (so I lost my natural light) and I believe some children who shall remain nameless kept changing the camera's settings ... :)

Okay, so first I took an old ill-fitting skirt, and hacked the bottom off to be used elsewhere (I'm adding a ruffle to the bottom of a too-short but super-cute skirt, but that's another project):



And a couple blocks of cute fabric (these are about 14.5" x 11"):


I laid the fabric on top of the skirt and trimmed the skirt down to size:


Like this:



Then I noticed that the top of the skirt was curved. So I curved the top of the fabric pieces, too:



Next, I took a scrap of a different fabric (simply because I didn't have enough of the first one ... but they look alright together, right?) and cut two pieces to the size I wanted the inside pocket to be (they ended up to be 11" x 7"):


To make the pocket, I sewed the pieces right-sides together, leaving an opening for turning. Then I clipped the corners, turned right-side out, pressed, and stitched the pocket to the lining, using the open end as the bottom so that stitching it to the lining would close the opening:

Later, I realized that the pocket was placed entirely too low, and had to dismantle and reposition. I do stuff like that all the time, though, so it was only a minor frustration ... :) The waistband on this skirt had a little flap on the inside that I could attach the top of the lining to, tucking it under the flap and then stitching across:

(I totally left the tag on ...
it's a reminder that this bag used to be something completely different.
And that makes me happy :)

With outside right-sides together, sew it all together around the sides and bottom, like this:


Much later, after the bag was all done, my good friend and fellow Praiseworthy blogger, Jen, suggested adding some bias tape to finish up the raw edges. So I did, but I'll put the photos here because this is where that step should go:


Next comes the shoulder strap, which I made by cutting a piece of fabric 5" x width-of-fabric. I kept it long to start with because I wasn't sure how long I wanted it to end up. Then I folded it in half, stitched along the long edge, turned and pressed with the seam in the middle, like this:


To make the strap more substantial, I cut a piece of quilt batting 2" x really-really-long and slid it into the strap through an open end:



Then I cut it to the length I wanted, pressed it, and sewed lines along the length to keep the batting in place:


Next, I wanted a way to close the bag, so I took a piece of excess strap and cut it down to a nice size, rounded one end and stitched it closed:


Then I turned the closure piece and pressed it, stitched around the edge, and fished out my sewing machine manual to try and remember how to make a button-hole. Once that was done, I turned the open end in, and stitched the closure strap to the inside of the bag, like this:


Added a button and the straps, hiding the inside raw edges at the top of the bag as I did so:



And ... done!


I purposely made the closure strap a little too long like that, so that the bag could be closed when full, like this:

(It's a hardback copy of Don Delillo's "Underworld",
in case you were wondering what's inside ... )

And here's how it hangs. And yes, the fabric I used for the pocket and straps is the same as my curtains. I just adore that fabric! :)



Hooray, a new bag! Do you like it? Would you like it? Because I want to give it to you. Leave a comment below and tell me where you would shop if time and distance and money and small children were not an object, and I'll draw a random name out of a hat (or a bowl ... or a bag ... maybe *this* bag!) on Friday (that's March 12, say, around noon pacific time?). I'll post the winner soon thereafter.