Daughters

Sugar, and spice, and everything nice.

That is what little girls are made of.

Growing up, that poem was hanging in my room. I never really thought much of it, except how unfair it was for the boys, who where made of Snips, and snails, and puppy dog tails. How sad. But then I became a mother and hope to be more like the silly poem.

Four years ago when I found out I was going to be a mother to a little girl I was a little overwhelmed. A girl! My sisters all had boys at the time and my sister in law has one girl, who is 5 years or so older then mine. In all today my parents have 11 grandsons and 3 grand daughters. Yeah a little outnumbered. It did make it exciting that there was finally going to be another girl for them.

But really, that is not why I was scared. I was a tomboyish girl growing up. I rarely wear makeup. I rarely cut my hair, I can barely do hair anyways. I am not a very frilly girl. I am getting better though having her. She has really changed my outlook on life. It is actually really fun having a girl. It is hard at times, but my son can be hard too. She can also be pretty tomboyish too so that helps.

She totally has her sugary moments. We both enjoy eating it and baking with it together, and you are what you eat. She loves to helps and do "acts of love" for her family. She can be very sweet.

She is totally full of spice. Man she is a little spitfire. I love that about her. she keeps you on your toes and can have you rolling on the floor laughing by the things she does and say because of that spice.

She really is full of everything nice. She makes friends with everyone, she has a hard time when she gets left out because she does not want to be pushy and force herself in. She also has great manners.

I really love my little girl. I am glad I have her in my life. As women, we all have our moments, but really, we are made of sugar, and spice, and everything nice. Some of us just have a little more spice.

Be YOUR best!

I wanna be like you oh oh,
I wanna talk like you oh oh,
Walk like you,

Talk like you, too.
You'll see it's true
Someone like me
Can learn to be
Like someone like me.
Can learn to be
Like someone like you.
Can learn to be
Like someone like me!

(The Jungle Book)

As a mother I am always comparing myself to other moms. It seems as if I am never doing enough. They are always so much craftier, creative, efficient, etc... then me. On top of that they seem to still be giving their children the attention they need. What is wrong with me. What is wrong with us. I seem to always do that. I could list 100's of traits that I want and who I want to get them from.
But really, why do we do it? Why are we always making ourselves smaller then we are.

As I have been reflecting on myself and things I can do to improve, I realized that it is not important what others are doing. As long as we are doing our own personal best, that is enough. There is no need to stress and worry because some other mom seems to be doing so much more. Now is it bad to want to be better, heck no! That is why we are here, to progress, improve, learn, grow. It is not a stagnant life we are living. We just need to be happy with who we are as mothers, wives, individuals.

One thing I realized is that we are all here to teach each other how to become better. If we were all the same, that would be pretty boring. We are here to fill the gaps that others may have. To use our talents to help those around us. To teach others. To lift and lighten one anthers burdens. We have a great purpose here as mothers. We often don't recognize ourselves enough. This is something that I know I will always struggle with, but this past week has made me a little more in tune with myself as a mother.

Leave a comment with a trait YOU have, think about yourself, not some other mom. For all you know, you may be the mom everyone is trying to be.

Mothers and Daughters

It didn't really hit me until about 4 months after this photo was taken, that I had a daughter. Granted, I didn't know she was a girl until the minute after she was born. But I will always remember that day, watching her sleep, when I really truly allowed myself to imagine what it would be like to raise a daughter. I had a blank journal on my dresser; I grabbed it and a favorite pen, and began to write. All the things I wished I could tell her right then. About being a girl in a world that is often so unkind to girls. About finding beauty. About women in her life, some of whom she will never meet, who have a hand in who she will become.


I've kept writing in that journal whenever I can, and I keep one for my son as well, buoyed by the remembrance of a woman I know who lost her mother at a very young age. I told her about my journal once, and she told me how she would have loved to have a journal like that, written by her mother especially for her.

This weekend, I have had the chance to reflect on the unique relationship between mothers and daughters. It's something I completely take for granted, and I don't fully understand, this intense bond between a mother and her daughter; or a daughter and her mother for that matter. I know for certain it's unlike any other relationship we can have, and that if we are mindful it's one in which both mothers and daughters can grow and be blessed together.

I especially took to heart this weekend the words of M. Russell Ballard, an apostle in our church's highest leadership, in our general conference. In one part of his address on Saturday morning he spoke of how young women behave and become so much like their mothers, it's important to be a good example (or, as once was told to me, be the kind of woman you want her to become). He advised that when they are faced with an often hostile world, their mothers are their first line of defense. And that even if they don't seem to listen ... they are learning from us all the time. He quoted Emerson: "What you do speaks so loud, I cannot hear what you say."

My relationship with my daughter is very young, and even now it still overwhelms me sometimes. I draw encouragement from my own relationship with my mother. I don't remember a lot of her specific advice from when I was in her care (even though I'm sure it was offered plenty of times!). But I astonish myself with how often I remind myself of her. It's a good thing she's just the sort of woman I want to become.

Our Mothers Knew It

As a young mother with two small children I have found myself feeling inexperienced and sort of lost some days. I keep finding it easy to justify my ignorance by basically giving myself a free pass to make mistakes or take days off from being mom. I shamefully catch myself using the excuse, "they are too small to remember." I think I'm desperately just trying to make myself feel better for messing up a day or spending my time "caring more for the deeds of doing then of the spirit". How do you find that balance?

 There are many times when I have tried to be that sweet, special, kind of mother who only talks gently and who thinks lastly about herself, and most of those moments have helped shape my family's lives but, I will admit, though, that there are other days when I lose myself in complete selfishness...big time. I have let my 4 year old play video games for way too long while I work on the house or try to get a project completed. I will see how long I can go...go...go without my sweet little baby girl really needing my attention. I then find myself at the end of the day wondering if I had even made an impression on them and wishing that I had taken the time to watch them smile, see them grow or even talk to them. Unfortunately that is when the guilt sets in. Discouragement takes over and wishing to begin again drains my soul. I am then faced with the choice of giving up or trying harder.

   After being literally filled with hope this last Easter weekend I found myself thinking a lot about this sentence: Alma 56:48

"We do not doubt our mothers knew it".

Do my kids understand what I know? Can they see it in my eyes even though they are small?

One of my biggest fears is that one day I will get up enough courage to ask them "What does mommy know?" and they'll say with that perfectly honest and childlike integrity, "Mom, you know how to clean. You know how to sew and you like to be on the computer." It makes me sad just thinking about it. I don't want to be known for that. I want to be thought of as a truly loving mother and devoted wife. That's all. I was reminded of one of my favorite quotes on Sunday as I listened to our church's General Conference:

"The love of a true mother comes nearer to being like the love of God than any other kind of love."

- Joseph Smith

I think that the day you discover you really know yourself and you have accepted who you are is the day that you will feel that true kind of love for your little ones. I don't think a selfish heart can grab hold of a Christ like love because a pure love is selfless and perfect just like He is. I think that knowing is the most important thing we can accomplish here on earth. I understand that a perfect knowledge of everything is unattainable right now but to know who we are and why we are here is key to becoming more like him. So...

My Goal: To become a mother who really really KNOWS.

As a jumping off point:

I know that with each new day comes hope...even when the sun is not shining.

I know that truth is evident when I am really trying to listen.

I know that when I am feeling lonely it is only because I have forgotten who loves me most.

I know that if I push myself beyond what I believe to be capable of, then I'm personally in for a neat surprise.

I know that I am a daughter of God.

I know that my kids were given to me to care for and to teach.

I know that inspiration comes anytime we seek it.

I know that my hands are to be my Savior's hands...to be used in any way He may need me.

I know that the gift of a second chance can be life changing.

I know what my mom and dad know.

I know that I can do better.

I know that He lives.

I know that one day I will become who He wants me to be.

I know that motherhood is the greatest kind of good out there.

I'm going to try harder.