His Hands

image by Cortney

There are times in our lives when bad things happen to people we care deeply about and most of those times we feel helplessly pinned against a wall trying desperately to think of something to say or do to make it seem all better. There are specific situations we encounter when that is just simply impossible.  However, I do believe that each of these moments have a lesson to be learned and a strength to be achieved by both the hurt and the ones who feel compassion towards those that hurt. 

Over the past few days I have witnessed that these experiences teach us how to love more deeply and to see those who are most effected through the eyes of a divine being, even if only for a brief moment.  Because of this gift to feel and to love, we are sometimes given the privilege to mourn with those that mourn and comfort those that stand in need of comfort.  So it has been and so it will continue to be for many of those who care about a very special family.

Cortney mentioned in a previous post just last week that our sweet friend had suffered a loss of an unborn child.  This was one of those moments when we all felt like we needed to do something but had no idea how to proceed...at first. 

The night it happened many showed up at their door, while they were heading to the hospital, to clean her home top to bottom.  Her freezer was then stocked with meals the next day and flowers began to load her counter top.  I, along with everyone I had spoken to, kept having that feeling of wishing we could do more...that we could somehow collectively show our love for this family in a way that was more then food and house cleaning.  Something that would last longer than just a few short weeks.  A plan began to form and with many many other women we began to do what we could to pull together a handmade quilt for them with the hopes of having it act as a cozy comforting reminder of this little baby and his place in their cute family.

It only took one email to gather a very large group of her friends together to begin our little project.  Sunday evening came and we all got to work. 

Only four hours later we had formed the top of the quilt.  I only wish that I had taken more pictures.  There were so many more there who had helped cut, sew and iron.  It really was a neat experience to have my home bursting at the seams with women filled with charity and a desire to serve those who really needed it. 

The next morning I took each piece to our cute Jen, who also writes for this blog, and I got to watch her create magic as she turned our previous night's work into a more beautifully quilted gift. 

The only things left to do where the binding and a tag. One more email went out...

On Tuesday morning, after many phone calls of people wanting to help, we sat around my dining room table sewing on the binding just like many other women had done in the past with other quilts that had been given as a gift to those who needed some extra warmth or strength.  I began to think about the significance of a quilt and it's meaningful symbolism of love and service.  It's neat to think about each hand that had touched it's fabrics and worked on it's beauty.  These are the women I get to associate with on a daily basis.  They were all there because they loved somebody very much.  Every stitch and each pressing was done to try and help lift a friend.  I'll never forget how I felt while working alongside some of my best friends united in one purpose.

Lastly, the tag was added with his name, the meaning of his name and a sweet reassuring scripture that reads:  

And whoso receiveth you, there I will be also, for I will go before your face. I will be on your right hand and on your left, and my Spirit shall be in your hearts, and mine angels round about you, to bear you up. (D&C 84:88)

With this quilt we gave her a card that had been signed by everyone who helped and who wanted to show their love for them and Cortney, wrote a very tender insert that explained our reason for making them this gift. 

image by Cortney

Watching what goes on behind the scenes of a tragic event is humbling and amazing.  I saw only a little portion of what went into caring for this dear family and I could easily see our Heavenly Father's hand in all of it.  He loves us.  He knows us and He uses our hands as His when He wants to comfort those that stand in need of His comfort. I will always remember this experience and the heart felt lessons I learned along the way.  Today I stand stronger with many others who have learned a little bit better how to love more like He loves. 

 

Are you speakin' my language?

Ever hear of the Five Love Languages?



I read the book as part of an Institute class when I was a single girl, with all the optimism of a hopeful Cinderella waiting for her prince. Recently, I thought it was about time I read it again as a "seasoned" (ha ha) married girl, still optimistic about my future with my prince of a husband. It's been a good reminder of how we can work together to make our fairy tale head toward "happily ever after." Specifically, I gleaned some ideas of what I can do to keep my dear husband content, receptive and open . Although I can't control those three traits, I can nourish them.


Basically, the premise of the five love languages is that everyone gives and receives love in various languages, although most individuals' natural tendency is to give and receive love in the same language. The book encourages you to first, discover your own love language, and second (and just as important), find out what language your partner (spouse, parent, friend, sibling, etc.) responds to (take a quiz to guide you to your language). Usually we end up dating/marrying someone who speaks a different love language than ourselves. Here's a quick definition of each language:

1. Words of Affirmation: Lots of "I love yous" and reasons for that love.


2. Quality Time: Full attention, free from distractions, and really listening.


3. Receiving Gifts: If this is the way you receive love, it doesn't mean you're shallow and/or materialistic. The smallest gift or gesture holds great meaning because you know there was some effort behind it.


4. Acts of Service: Stepping in to help out, especially when it's something you don't normally do speaks volumes of your love and appreciation towards your mate.


5. Physical Touch: This doesn't necessarily mean hanky panky or excessive P.D.A. but can be as simple as a pat on the back or kiss on the cheek.

So, what language do you speak? Just as you can be fluent in many verbal languages, you can speak more than one love language, but you definitely have one "mother tongue." Personally, mine is Acts of Service. Coming in a close tie for second is Quality Time and Receving Gifts. It's important to me that I feel listened to, so consequently I make an effort to really pay attention to others and make them feel important and validated. I also love to give little meaningful gifts, like a note in an unexpected place or fix a special meal if I know hubby has had a long day.

It's quite obvious to me that Dear Husband speaks and hears in a different language than I do. His mother tongue is Words of Affirmation, followed by Physical Touch. We were talking after a particularly long and taxing day, and he simply said, "Sometimes I just need a little affection." Since he works from home, occasionally I'll pop into the office, not say a word but give him a peck on the cheek and sneak back out, and many times he'll say "I needed that." Now I'm speakin' his language and all is good.

Have you ever tried to learn another language? I have, and it's not easy. I tried to speak Spanish to the lovely Latino people at church, and to them I probably sounded like Tarzan, not knowing the proper pronoun to use or messing up the conjugation of a verb. But they knew I was making the effort, and as I put out 25% of the effort, they met me with open arms and the other 75% and then some. I think the same is true of love languages. It will be challenging at times, you may feel foolish or fear you'll "mess up" but as long as you're making the effort, that's all that matters, and from my own experience, it matters a lot!

So, what's your love language? And are you ready to learn another tongue? It's fun, I promise, so go for it!

Ciao, bella!